Most People VS Tumblr

Most people: What a humorous scene in this movie we are currently watching.
Me: There will be so many GREAT GIFs made from this scene!
Most people: Wow, this is ALL over the internet. Have you head about the ne--
Me: Yes.
Most people: Hey! Would you like to go outside for a bit, maybe take a stroll?
Me: ... ?
Most people: I'm feeling very sad tonight because a dear friend of mine has moved away. I am going to go seek solace by confiding in another dear friend of mine.
Me: I'm feeling very sad tonight because my favorite character in my favorite fandom died, but he is not really dead, but everyone thinks he is, including his best friend with whom he had a totally heterosexual relationship, that I, in NO way want to go a step (or twenty) further. I'm going to seek solace by crying a lot and posting theories and fanfictions that get a lot of notes.
Most people: (holding hands with significant other while walking down the street and chatting, romantically)
Me: (holding phone with tumblr app while walking down the street and chatting aloud to my dashboard, romantically)
Most people: This was such a fun night, I can't wait to tell all my friends about it!
Me: OH MY GOSH I AM GOING TO WRITE ALL ABOUT THIS ON TUMBLR AND ALL OF MY INTERNET FRIENDS FROM HALFWAY ACROSS THE PLANET ARE GOING TO BE SO HAPPY FOR ME AND I WILL HEAR ALL ABOUT THEIR NIGHTS AND WE WILL EXPRESS OUR FEELINGS WITH MEMES AND LINKS TO FUNNY VIDEOS
Most people: (4:00 AM) _______________________________
Me: (4:00 AM) .... *type type* ..... *click* ....
Photo: You really love him, don't you? A simple psychological question. Not a name was mentioned, but suddenly someone came into your mind.
Most people: OH MY GOSH I AM SO IN LOVE AND HERE IS SOME FACTUAL PSYCHOLOGY TO PROVE IT!
Me: (immediately thought of favorite fictional ship)
Most people: (thinks of funny joke) Haha, I have to text everyone and tell them!
Me: (thinks of funny joke) (signs onto memebase)
Obnoxious person on Facebook: Favorite books?! LOL I'M ILLITERATE
Most people: Hahahahahahaha you are SO funny!
Me: I will kill you.
(in which somebody has made some great accomplishment)
Most People: Wow, congratulations! I'm so proud!
Me: ALL OF THE AWARDS! RIGHT HERE, THIS PERSON, ALL OF THEM.
Attractive person: I know you have feelings for me.
Me: Ugh. meh.
Most people: oh my gosh they're onto me how do they know oh my gosh what do i do well maybe i should deny it or maybe i should seize this oppurtunity to just say it i mean it may be my one chance this could be the day
Attractive person: Because I took your pulse.
Me: ASDFGHJKL;'!QWERTYUIOP[XCVBNM,.JFIHYUG67TSD89POJHtr$%^&*(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!